I am not one for email forwards and my father knows that. So he only forwards quality stuff to me! Here is a collection of hilarious examples of wrong English that he sent me.
In Infosys, Bangalore an employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave."
This is from Oracle Bangalore. An employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"As I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days…"
Another gem, this time from CDAC. A letter requesting for leave from an employee who was getting his daughter wed:
"As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave…"
From HAL’s administration dept.:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
Another employee applied for a half-day’s leave as follows:
"Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o’ clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave."
Another example of a letter requesting for leave:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
A letter applying for leave to a school headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today."
Another one written to a headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
This referenced a covering note, which said:
"I am enclosed herewith…"
Another covering note:
"Dear Sir, with reference to the above, please refer to my below…"
A letter written for application for leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave.”
This one I admit sounds made up!
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
A candidate’s job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘Typist and an Accountant – Male or Female’ … As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.”
That’s all folks!
PS: If the blues still won’t go away there’s always Engrish.com – more hilarious examples of wrong English!